And there we were...

The preparation.

I left the states not knowing what to expect. To be honest, at the time of leaving, all i wanted to do was just to get out of Knoxville and everyone else. All the things that has happened, all the drama, I just wanted a break.
By the time I left, there was a hole in my heart. I was at that point in my life where everything seemed to be falling apart, where nothing is going right, where I feel like I don't belong and there isn't anything i can do about it. At that point, I just wanted to get away, to move on.
I left with the hope that by the time i come back, I will be fine, I will be able to be happy without that person in my life.

The journey.

The first week there I was mostly with my family. My heart stopped swelling up. I still thought about that-certain-someone every now and then, but it was bearable.
And then the real journey begins when summer camp with the kids started. At first, I hesitated to open my heart. It was as if i was afraid. And then it happened, the instant i heard little kids screaming my name, running towards me, grabbing onto me. They needed to be held, and I needed to be loved.
It hit even harder when I got to work with the older kids. I got to talk to them, to share with them about my life, and theirs. It was then that I realized how good it feels opening up your heart and just let love do its magic. It was also when I realized that a piece of my heart is left there.
The kids have taught me how to love, to open up my heart, to be selfless, to look with my eyes, but see with my heart. I left the states with a deep wound in my heart, waiting to be healed; and I returned with my heart filled with more love than ever. Maybe the time that i spent there isn't a very long period of time, but the effect that it has on me is going to be there for a while.

The departure.

I hate saying goodbye, I've always hated saying goodbye. I cried. Not because I don't know if I will ever see those faces again, nor because I was devastatingly sad, I cried because i was overwhelmed by the love that was in that place where we said goodbye. God placed in each of our hearts a special bond, a bond that when we left, we all knew that distance would only intensify the love we have for one another.
It was hard saying goodbye, but it was easy knowing that a piece of our hearts will always belong to one another. And in saying goodbye, we found a hope, one that brings us joy, that reassures us that it doesn't matter if we will ever see each other again, we will always remember, love, and pray for each other. That was what mattered the most.

The returning.

I came with the intentions of getting my heart healed, of having a good trip; but I returned knowing that it wasn't at all about me, or about getting my heart healed. It was about love, about the kids, and about experiencing God's amazing love. And fortunately enough, just in the midst of all that, my heart was healed, my soul was restored.
I came back to my usual routine of life with a different attitude, with a different heart and mind. Maybe life is the same as it was when i left, but I am not. I no longer feel that I need to have someone in order to be happy, or that I am not okay without that person. What I've learned along the way hasn't made me invincible, but what it does is that it makes me realize that there are and will be many sufferings, heartbreaks, and crappy situations, and that I will get my heart broken again and again, but I have to remember that time will pass, the pain will fade, and love will heal. Because love never fails.

p.s - and i would like to thank all those precious faces that I've met as well as those whose companies i delightfully enjoyed during the trip. =)