I miss you.
And even though I don't how things are or will be between us, I still miss you. A whole lot. I don't know what or how long it will take before I can forgive you, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you. Because I do, so much that it hurts. I think I am okay with just standing on the side watching you live your life. I think.
I hope you are happy and will be that way for a while. I really do, even if that means that will hurt me and I will be devastated. I really want you to be happy. Because maybe, just maybe, your being happy would be the only chance I have at finding happiness for myself. I don't want to see you sad, because then, I would want to be there for you, and get close to you, and shatter to pieces all over again when you get better, and leave, like you always do. I'm hoping that in seeing you being happy, I will become resentful, and in turn, distant myself from you. Yes, the only chance for me to be happy is for me not to be with you. And you need to be happy for me to be able walk away. I don't know why, but that is just how it is for me. It just is. So from the bottom of my heart, I truly, more than anything, want you to be happy.
We both know that we could never be together, but..
I love you, even though I really shouldn't....
Even though I should hate you.
[p.s - I am so amazed that the moment you realize you love someone is the moment you truly wish him or her all the happiness in the world, even if you know that happiness will not be shared with you... and somehow, amazing enough, you're okay with that - as long as the one you love is happy. That, is when you know you truly love someone - and that is also how I know I truly love you...]
And even though I don't how things are or will be between us, I still miss you. A whole lot. I don't know what or how long it will take before I can forgive you, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you. Because I do, so much that it hurts. I think I am okay with just standing on the side watching you live your life. I think.
I hope you are happy and will be that way for a while. I really do, even if that means that will hurt me and I will be devastated. I really want you to be happy. Because maybe, just maybe, your being happy would be the only chance I have at finding happiness for myself. I don't want to see you sad, because then, I would want to be there for you, and get close to you, and shatter to pieces all over again when you get better, and leave, like you always do. I'm hoping that in seeing you being happy, I will become resentful, and in turn, distant myself from you. Yes, the only chance for me to be happy is for me not to be with you. And you need to be happy for me to be able walk away. I don't know why, but that is just how it is for me. It just is. So from the bottom of my heart, I truly, more than anything, want you to be happy.
We both know that we could never be together, but..
I love you, even though I really shouldn't....
Even though I should hate you.
[p.s - I am so amazed that the moment you realize you love someone is the moment you truly wish him or her all the happiness in the world, even if you know that happiness will not be shared with you... and somehow, amazing enough, you're okay with that - as long as the one you love is happy. That, is when you know you truly love someone - and that is also how I know I truly love you...]
No comments:
Post a Comment