I tried not to care about you, I really did--and I even thought I don't anymore. Until I stay up all night worrying about you. I know not having you in my life is better for me; I know not seeing you at all is better for me; I know you're nothing like someone I would want to spend time with. But I do.

Things kept rushing through my head all night. There were these confirmations echoing in the back of my mind--confirming that I don't care anymore, that I am okay with you not being here, that it's fine for you to not being in my life at all. They gradually became questions; questions that made me think a whole lot about what I want in life. I still don't think I want you. But I know I miss you.

I'm going to have a long day tomorrow.

I'm going to be hanging on to a thread tomorrow.

I'm going to start my first day in two years with you being a stranger.

I can do it. I ought to. For my own sake.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry because of you anymore.

I won't.

I won't...

I'm not crying. There is just something in my eyes.